Lost Inspiration

So what do you do when this happens to you?

Come to think of it, the title of this post has been the general theme for the past few days. You see, going online for an ungodly number of hours per day has it's benefits - and this particular benefit I mean is that geographical communication borders are broken down greatly. It kinda reminds of the that old concept of a global New World Order, albeit this is more of a technology-themed version. Today, you get to communicate with just about anyone from anywhere, whether they be connected to cyberspace through your local internet cafe or from half way around the world, the setting would be the same - all of you are sitting down on some couch or some propped up chair, looking at a LCD with your hands positioned right in front of you.

When you spend time on forums and social networking sites, chances are high that you get to meet people with similar interests as you - trust me, the internet has a weird but cool way of letting that happen. Most especially when you guys go online at similar times, days go by and the mandatory pop-up chatbox with matching sounds becomes almost expected. It's these little trivial things that would be enough for anyone to keep on doing what he/she has started - for people who think like I do, you can never have too much connections in cyberspace. Of course, that wouldn't be a need if Google was your name, but that's beside the point. The thing is, there's always a benefit when you establish connections online - driving traffic, forum discussions, link sharing, back-linking, portfolio viewing, widgets, etc - you name it, you can have it.

The 'however' part of my story is this though - we can never deny that behind that geeky username and cropped thumbnail image, there's a human being with more than a decade's deep worth of stories to tell. And maybe even more. You see, when you do small talk online, there are tendencies for the conversation to go to a more personal direction. Which isn't really a bad thing - come to think of it, talking to an online persona has the advantage of knowing you won't get any negative feedback to those you share it with. 'Coz chances are, you won't even get to personally meet them at all. With that security, these 'people' then share some of their stories with you. Hell, I don't even know if any part of it were true at all - but if they were, then they'd make a good story for a blockbuster drama movie. Setting up the characters well, boy meets girl, getting deeper into each other, conflict arouses the subjects, crossroads, and the eventual ending - whether they be good or bad. It's these stories that some people never tire of - and there are those stories that just never progress in this line. One subject never gives in to the other, and though they both want to, the risk is not seen as something worth taking. So they wait and float in each other's thought, barely hanging to the concept of being happy with each other, though not doing anything at all to make that happen. This, then, is a cause for lost inspiration.

There are times in your life where you target something - something that keeps you going, something that keeps you afloat, or something that allows to be alive, even for the most meager of reasons. Some people call it a reason - others see it as hope. Others even see it as a great driving force for their everyday routines. For some though, they call it an inspiration. It's that little thing that seems to always to do two things to a person upon sight - one, that their inner selves give off a big smile because of the feeling they get from seeing that inspiration, and two, it allows them to do better. Magis, as how we used to call it in our highschool. Growth, as how business people see it. Optimization, as how computer scientists view it. No matter the term, more often than not there will always be that 'thing' that has inspired you and will continue to - even if the reason for the start of it being an inspiration has already disappeared.

As I carry on this day-to-day charade of the hibernating caveman, I realized that there are some things that need some time to be realized. Feelings can also be a dual-edged sword as well - as much as it can give you bliss in the most pleasurable of moments, it can also be the small, sharp pin needed to blow up a balloon bigger than yourself. You see, in a world ruled by duality, nothing is exempted. Not even immaterial feelings.

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keep fighting me. i'll miss it once it's gone.