False Cigarettes

Just to make things clear, let me point something out - I don't smoke.

If you were thinking that the title above was a distant jest at trying to point out the concept of false 'hopes', then remind me to congratulate you next time we meet. You are right, it is my way of trying to hide what this post stands for - or rather, for what it doesn't.

The past few months where I have been breathing oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide are - at best - a blur. Things have come and gone so fast you'd think a superhero with a red suit and little yellow wings attached to his head was around and alive. For all that my life was a few months back, you wouldn't be able to believe I was like that if we got acquainted just a few days ago. Events, happenings, times, moments, activities, works, decisions - put them all together into one cramped box and label them 'the past few months of my life', because that's how it's been. Except for the fact that I still go by the name given to me one stormy day, everything else has been touched in one way or another.

A few years back, there was this one line that I could never forget, and it is that same line that's running through my thoughts as I maul the keyboard with what's left of my fingertips. "In everything you do, you either win, or you learn" - yes, that's right. You never lose. You never did, and you never will. In a way, all that it is, is just a matter of perspective on your side. How you approach something will more often than not be the deciding factor of how you will come out of it. Having pointed this out, I hope you would have come to realize that indeed, things can go as positive as much as you want it to be, or as opposite as you do. There are just some times that one similar happening can happen to two different individuals - yet one can see it as a blessing, and the other as the worst thing that could have happened.

You might say that I am once again exploring the bowels of duality - (I might be) - yet we don't have to dwell on that aspect in order to fully comprehend things we see everyday. Come to think of it, the term of "false hopes" can even be considered a great irony - the first word being something deceptive and negative, and the second being a word and symbol of all the good that has come and will continue to come. The reason I am pointing this out because for the past few months, there was an aspect that I was confused at. I wanted to believe in something so hopeful, yet at the same time I didn't want to be disappointed in the end. As it turned out, I decided to stay on the safe side of that thought, of that concept, of that hope. Today, I will be giving myself a tap on the back, for it seems that this time - I chose well.

I could be named a fool for ever believing in the hope that something so great like that could happen to me in such sort a time. It doesn't matter though - this ain't a first.

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the best way to change your past is to look at it differently.