It's Day Five. Five freakin' days of isolation, of watching anything on TV, of waiting for the strike of the fourth hour for meds, of being stuck, and of trying to keep myself sane. It hasn't been easy, trust me. But neither will being mad about it make it any better. Go figure.
There's something about being away from society that allows someone to think things through, to have an idea of where things stand. Yes, that's the norm. What isn't normal, though, is how things come to you when you don't even ask for them. Things you normally wouldn't have the chance to come across if you hadn't been subjected to almost a week of not facing anyone outside your family circle. It's these little blessings that can somehow put a smile on anyone's face, much less mine. Sadly, there's a sad side that comes with it.
This thing that's happening, with me being in a place I know I really don't belong to anymore, may have just been pushed to some extent. It's not that I regret anything, but it's just that there's been a good eye-opener today that's leading towards more things that should not have been there in the first place. And I hope I'm f*ckin' wrong.
I'll be back in society sometime soon, there's no question there. But what I'll be going back to will be quite different from when I left. And the change won't only be coming from the people in the society, but from myself as well. Let's be optimistic and say that it isn't really a big deal. But I'd like to think it is. It freakin' is.
To be honest, there's something I've been looking forward to for a while now. From the writing of this post, it's one down, four to go. I sure hope as hell that you would be there too. All of you. 'Coz when it does, we'll all be celebrating something, though it'll be a different reason for everyone. Cheers.
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